ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

i feel so guilty because it has been over a week since i hit the blog and oh so many things have happened mentally and spiritually and in the day to day...so, where to begin...hmmmmmmmmmm...it is the 3rd of august and in three days i am going to be 39 and my birthday is like my new years resolution...i usually take assessment of my life and where i am going or where i am not going and then i try to make a map for the next year...so i have been doing that and thinking about what i want to be doing and where i want to be during the next year...more about that in a few days

i had the most invigorating conversation with my brother on the phone and learned so many things about myself...i am a reactive person and i seem to experience life by what is thrown in my path and let it make me who i am...i don't think this is a bad thing and in fact, i have lived my life this way and it has served me well for the past 39 years but, it is time to take my life by the horns and make a better plan...so i have been working on that...more to come too

i helped with a garage sale from hell but we made almost $500 bucks between that and craigslist so that was good and cleared out a garage...it was worth all the work this summer to get that thing going...but, don't want to have a garage sale any time soon and i have also learned that i am not going to be a pack rat any more...i helped clean and shovel out shit that was ruined or not used because it had been saved way too long...what good is something that you might hypothetically use in 5-10 years or that you are saving for a worthy project...if when you finally get around to using it...either termites have eaten it or it is ruined or the cat peed on it or it fell apart because of age...what happened to that neat thing...nothing, it was stored on a shelf and no one got to use it or see it or anything...i am only going to save a few things that are super important and then just use the rest...

what else...getting old...the big 3-9...going to go to watch roller derby for my birthday...that will be a blast...