all the hoops have been jumped through
all the dates have been set
the protein shakes are being consumed
now everyone just keeps asking if i am nervous
i think the fact that this has taken almost a year in the making; i am not really nervous ... i just want to be on the other side of it...don't get me wrong going under always makes me a bit apprehensive ... what happens if i don't wake up ... what will my wee one do without me ... i wish i had said this or i wish i had done that or i wish they would have know what was in my head ... but, i can't dwell on this ... i am pragmatic and analytical ... the numbers don't lie ... the percentages of people dying are rare and minuscule so i am going to assume that i will be making it through this procedure ...
now on to the other side ... that's what i am a bit more apprehensive about ... after talking with the psychiatrist or actually listening to him talk i realize i am up against many odds to attain and maintain the results i want from this procedure
see my mother thinks it's a cop out and that "you will be losing weight like you are on a diet but you really aren't on a diet" ... i took the easy way out and now i am going to reap the benefits without all the hard work ... everyone i have talked to says that's not really the case ... you have a 12 month honeymoon period where you are not really hungry and you have this time to rewire your brain about what food is and you have this time to start your exercise habits ....i have to hit the ground running ... this is my one shot or that is how i look at it
i am an all or nothing kind of person .... i am all in or i am all out ... it pervades into most areas of my life ... i am loyal but once you have taken that for granted and stepped on me ... you have me no more ... when i finally quit smoking it was no weening off the cigarettes or just having one once and a while ... cold turkey for me ... i have a hard time being in the middle ... i do enjoy my grays because let's face it, everything cannot be cut and dry and there are always exceptions to all rules but on the whole ... in or out for me .... i have been wanting to quit caffeine and tried and then just started back a bit ... well guess what, back on the sauce; so with the surgery not allowing me carbonated drinks forever this will help cut my addiction to diet coke and caffeine ... having to get 64oz of water ... and yes i know the benefits of water but, actually doing what i am supposed to do is another thing entirely ...but if this will help my recovery and results ... i'm in ....
forced compliance for the sake of results and health seem to work better in my mind ... if i physically can not do something then i won't do it ... i know it is not a possibility and that's that.
so ... i will keep you posted and am sure i will be on here discussing the altered state of me once again
all the dates have been set
the protein shakes are being consumed
now everyone just keeps asking if i am nervous
i think the fact that this has taken almost a year in the making; i am not really nervous ... i just want to be on the other side of it...don't get me wrong going under always makes me a bit apprehensive ... what happens if i don't wake up ... what will my wee one do without me ... i wish i had said this or i wish i had done that or i wish they would have know what was in my head ... but, i can't dwell on this ... i am pragmatic and analytical ... the numbers don't lie ... the percentages of people dying are rare and minuscule so i am going to assume that i will be making it through this procedure ...
now on to the other side ... that's what i am a bit more apprehensive about ... after talking with the psychiatrist or actually listening to him talk i realize i am up against many odds to attain and maintain the results i want from this procedure
see my mother thinks it's a cop out and that "you will be losing weight like you are on a diet but you really aren't on a diet" ... i took the easy way out and now i am going to reap the benefits without all the hard work ... everyone i have talked to says that's not really the case ... you have a 12 month honeymoon period where you are not really hungry and you have this time to rewire your brain about what food is and you have this time to start your exercise habits ....i have to hit the ground running ... this is my one shot or that is how i look at it
i am an all or nothing kind of person .... i am all in or i am all out ... it pervades into most areas of my life ... i am loyal but once you have taken that for granted and stepped on me ... you have me no more ... when i finally quit smoking it was no weening off the cigarettes or just having one once and a while ... cold turkey for me ... i have a hard time being in the middle ... i do enjoy my grays because let's face it, everything cannot be cut and dry and there are always exceptions to all rules but on the whole ... in or out for me .... i have been wanting to quit caffeine and tried and then just started back a bit ... well guess what, back on the sauce; so with the surgery not allowing me carbonated drinks forever this will help cut my addiction to diet coke and caffeine ... having to get 64oz of water ... and yes i know the benefits of water but, actually doing what i am supposed to do is another thing entirely ...but if this will help my recovery and results ... i'm in ....
forced compliance for the sake of results and health seem to work better in my mind ... if i physically can not do something then i won't do it ... i know it is not a possibility and that's that.
so ... i will keep you posted and am sure i will be on here discussing the altered state of me once again
No comments:
Post a Comment