payday

i am eagerly anticipating my paycheck today...even though sadly it will be pretty much gone when i get it...i don't care, at least i won't owe anybody anything...at least until next month...i have gotten my bills down to the bare minimum but i wish i could figure out a way to shave a little more off of each month's bills...except that i am totally not willing to get rid of the phone or the internet and that's about $147 right there...i do have a $75 storage bill a month because i downsized from a three-bedroom house to a studio apartment in january...maybe i could have a fabulously huge yard sale and get rid of everything that has been packed for the past 12-24 months...i don't even know if i can actually remember all the stuff that i have piled up in storage...my life smashed into a 10'x12' space...and do i really need all this stuff if i have gone without it for so long...i think not but i do want to go through it because there are some things i just can't part with and even though i am not exactly sure what all those things are...i will surely know them when i see them...i am the world's biggest reformed pack rat...i have really been trying hard to get rid of things and not save things even though i just might need them one day...i think all the junk isn't worth it any more...packratism is like a disease that you have to be rehabilitated from and every time i think i have it beat i find something i could possibly use for a potential art project and there i go saving needless, free shit again....ahhhhhhh!!!! i have got to get a grip on this because i don't want to become a hoarder...have you seen that tv show about hoarding...i don't watch tv but, i have friends that have been telling me about this show and the insane level of clutter,trash,crap,stuff and shit that these hoarders have in their houses...i know i am not that bad but i also know i don't need all this stuff i think i need...i want to be able to fit all my belongings [minus my bed and favorite furniture only] into my car so if i had to i could just go and i wouldn't feel like i was leaving my life behind...i have left two apartments full of furniture before [so as to not have to deal with some bad breakups in the past] and i have lost one storage to lack of payment...i just don't want that to happen ever again but, then again i don't want to be so attached to stuff that i can't just let it go...it is nice to have things but you can't take it with you and i sorta feel the same way about money...sure having a bunch of it makes life easier but, i think it also makes life stressful because you are always working, worrying and saving....as long as i can be comfortable and not need anything...i have been learning that i am good with that...sure there are some wants but i can live without them and if i can't then i can save a bit more and scratch that off the list when i get it.